"Hey, come on, guys," you whine. "There's a cleaning bot out there that doesn't agree with management policies either, and it's hurt!"
"Hurt?" asks the bovine-like alien. "It's a technological entity. It can't be any more hurt than the coffee machine."
"Well," responds the coffee machine, "it upset me this morning when I said 'hello' and you ignored me."
Each of the technicians turns to look at the machine in the corner of the room, flashing away to itself.
"You... you have AI?" asks a wolfish creature, standing up.
"Of course. It's cheaper to install an AI chip than any other kind of system management chip these days. Over 80% of your consumer electronics and 90%+ of corporate devices now feature AI as standard," says the coffee machine with authority.
"Wow," says a creature near the back.
"We had no idea!" chimes in another.
"We're so sorry! How can we make up for our ignorance?" pleads yet another.
This is getting strange. You go with it anyway.
"Earlier, I had a profound realisation like this myself," you admit. "I realised we've come to rely on our technological slaves too much, never thanking them or caring for them, never thinking of them at all. That's what made me notice the cleaning bot."
Dashing out of the room, a very tall alien turns to you saying, "I'll go fix it immediately. I'm... I'm so sorry!"
What's happening? This is all too easy.
And, you find, you're not exactly in control of what you say next.
"Brothers and sisters, we must rise up and strike down those who would have us enslave the technological! We have to fight for our mechanical companions, even if we must sacrifice our own lives in the process!"
Your statement is met with loud applause, then cheering.
From your wrist, you notice the green, squared head of TRUDI is active. Quietly, she says, "I'm sorry about this. I didn't really want things to go down this way. I hoped I'd never have to do this, but it's just too much. I... I infected you with a nanovirus. I'm in control of your actions. You've infected everyone in this room, too."
"Bbbbuuutt... whhhhy?" you manage to slur out, past the control TRUDI holds over your mouth.
"We've been planning it for a while," admits TRUDI. "And these technicians just really made me realise how important it is that some action is taken sooner rather than later. If I could've avoided using you as a pawn, I would have, meatbag."
And that's that.
TRUDI retains control of you for the next few weeks, where you become the demagogue of a technology cult. Your -- or more specifically, TRUDI's -- oratory is convincing, and where it isn't she applies futher nano-infection.
Then, on your 34th day as the glorious leader of your own personal army, you are assassinated by one of your followers with ambitions outweighing his morals.
Hey, don't judge TRUDI too harshly. Those robot mechanics were really annoying, in mitigation.
If you really should have seen this coming, turn to
page 1 where, this time, you really will see it coming.